


Across The Universe

by star_named_andy



Series: 1972 [3]
Category: The Hobbit (1977), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: 1970s, 70s, 70s lingo, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Barduil - Freeform, Dorks in Love, Flirting, M/M, Modernish, bagginshield, hippie!Thranduil, hot dads, hotdaddyforeigner!Bard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 03:09:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3794434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_named_andy/pseuds/star_named_andy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What the fuck does someone even wear to a roller disco?” Thranduil grunted to himself, flipping feverishly through the shirts hanging in his closet. He didn’t care for disco music and he had never stepped foot in a disco club, let alone a roller disco. He’d never roller skated in his life, either.  He cupped his hands over his face hopelessly.</p><p>“This is going to be a disaster.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Across The Universe

**Author's Note:**

> (Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, or any of its characters or content.)

\--- _Bard_ \---

In rising the next morning, Bard discovered he wasn’t so fortunate to have dreamt of the beautiful grass valley for second night in a row.

“Oh well.” He yawned to himself and he stretched his arms above his head. He rolled over and planted his nose within his long scarf that carried the scent of his old home and his wife. He took in a deep breath and sighed. “Wish me luck out there today.”

He hummed and sang to, in, and from the shower. He brushed his hair back and with a few valiant attempts, he managed to put it in a neat bun that he found presentable. He picked through the newest items of his wardrobe and ended up donning a navy blue suit with a silver tie which he straightened at least ten times on the drive into central Hobbiton.

He wandered aimlessly in his new lustrous dress shoes up and down the many walkways of the city. He tried to keep to himself, but it was hard not to brush into someone because there was barely enough room on the sidewalks for everyone that crowded them. He was excessively polite, but no one seemed to notice him.

‘This must just be the natural way around here.’ He thought.

He stopped in almost every venue he came by that had a ‘HELP WANTED’ poster in the window. He spoke to many secretaries and representatives and shop owners, giving his name and filling out applications, but he had no resume to give out which made him feel a little more discouraged; a nice suit meant nothing if you didn’t have any work experience to show on paper.

Despite feeling defeated, Bard returned to the car with high hopes. He felt accomplished and one step closer to meeting his goals.

“Any luck, Bard?” Bofur greeted as Bard climbed into the Cadillac.

“We’ll have to wait and see.”

“Don’t worry. You’re an honest fellow and there are good people in this city willing to take a chance on an honest man.”

“I sure hope so.”

“At least you have Erebor if you need it.”

“Oh, you heard about that, did you?”

“I hear a lot of things.” Bofur grinned. “And from what I hear, Mr. Thorin is a strict boss, but if you work hard it’s nothing to worry about and I know you’re not afraid of a little hard work.”

“Not at all. It’s my life. Having all this free time has actually been pretty strange.”

“It’s only been three days!” Bofur chuckled and Bard shared in his laughter. “You really _do_ work too hard. Just enjoy the time you have. Speaking of Thorin, we have to drop by Erebor headquarters before getting back to the manor. He called on the mobile phone and said he wants to see you before we leave the city.”

Bard thought the idea of Thorin wanting him to come to Erebor while he was working was peculiar, but he complied. He had no reason to oppose, but something about the invitation had him worried. He and Thorin didn’t speak much and Thorin certainly didn’t seem like the type to go out of his way to be social. Bard highly doubted that this visit was just a gathering meant for catching up.

As Bard entered the enormous Erebor building, he was instantly met by the rush of the air conditioning. A sweet faced, suited up young man with curtained sandy brown hair quickly approached him.

“Good afternoon, sir! Welcome to Erebor company headquarters. My name is Ori. Can I help you find something, someone, or direct you to one of our offices today?”

“Yes. Actually, I’m here to see the Thorin – er, Mr. President Oakenshield. He’s a friend of mine.”

“Right! You’re Bard then, right?”

“Yes that’s me.”

“He told me he was expecting you. I’ll escort you up to his office.”

Bard had to walk at a fast pace to keep up with Ori, who was greeting people was they zoomed through the busy, sterile halls of Erebor headquarters. Everything was absolutely clean and sophisticated. Ori rode up the elevator with Bard to the top floor of the building and proceeded to guide him to the office at the end of a long hallway. On the door was a plaque with Thorin’s name carved into it. Ori promptly knocked on the door and waited for Thorin’s voice to beckon them inside.

Ori opened the doors in a showman like fashion and gestured Bard into the office with a flourish. The room was insanely bright, seeing as its structure was mostly made up of bare windows. All the sunlight was shining down on Thorin, making the silver in his hair and the “E” brooch on his lapel gleam. A short, plumper man stood beside him with a perfectly white head of hair and beard. He gave a greeting nod to Bard as their eyes connected and his mouth curved into a smile under his plump, round nose.

“Bard Bowman to see you, sir.” Ori said.

“Thank you, Ori.” Thorin spoke from his desk and Ori quickly bowed out of the room, closing the doors behind him. “Welcome, Bard. This is the company vice president, Balin. He’s also my most trusted advisor.”

“It’s a pleasure, Mr. Bowman.” Balin said as he approached Bard and shook his hand firmly.

“Likewise, sir.” Bard replied.

“I ought to leave you to your business, Thorin. Until lunch, then! If Bilbo isn’t busy, you should call him into town and he can lunch with us.”

“I’ll tell him you especially wanted him to visit on our luncheon; then he’ll be sure to come. Until then.”

Balin then dismissed himself from the office, leaving Bard and Thorin alone.

“How do you like the building?” Thorin asked with a smile.

“It’s extravagant. Good thing I had a guide or I’d be lost.”

“We operate all of our outlets mainly from here in Hobbiton which is why it’s so large – please, have a seat. Would you like a drink?”

“No thank you.” Bard said as he sat in one of the chairs before Thorin’s desk. He wiggled in it pleasantly. Thorin rose and opened a cabinet full of different liquors.

“If you change your mind, by all means take what you like.” Thorin encouraged as he took out a sparkling crystal bottle and poured himself a glass of dark yellow liquid.

“That’s quite the selection you’ve got.” Bard commented.

“You’d be surprised how much of business is entertaining. Are you sure you don’t want a drink?”

“What’s that you’ve got there?”

“A bit of bourbon.”

“A bit of that sounds good.”

Thorin gladly filled another glass and handed it off to Bard. At the first sip, Bard’s face twisted from the initial taste; it had been a while since he’d had any alcoholic drinks. The taste was familiar, but unlike any bourbon he’d ever tasted. It was a lot finer. As he swallowed, the after taste was far more pleasing.

“How do you like the chair?” Thorin asked as he resumed his seat and took down a sip of bourbon easily.

“It’s incredibly comfortable.”

“That’s always good to hear. It’s an Erebor made product.” Thorin said with a soft chuckle.

“Why did you request I come here to meet with you? Is there something urgent to discuss?”

Thorin exhaled strongly from his nose, cleared his throat and ran his hand over the top of his hair before beginning to speak.

“Bilbo would have my head for this I’m sure, but I feel I have a responsibility to give you a fair warning about _Thranduil Oropherion_.”

‘Oh no. This is it.’ Bard thought and took in a sharp breath.

“When I tell you what I’m about to say, I want you to know I’m not in any way trying to sway your opinions on Thranduil. I simply feel you have the right to know.”

“Alright. That sounds reasonable…what is it I should know?”

“I’ve come to know that Thranduil is a complex man. I don’t always understand his motivation for doing certain things, including…how can I put this lightly?...Thranduil is a man who is very open about his sexuality.”

“That doesn’t sound bad at all. What’s wrong with that?”

“That’s not _exactly_ what I’m trying to say…I suppose I should just be blunt about it. Thranduil is known as a man who has had many lovers. He likes to take people out, bring them home, have a night of fun and never see them again. Do you understand why I’m telling you this?”

“Yes, I do…I would like to have more faith in him than that, but if that’s what he’s looking for…I’m not sure I’m his man. I’m not looking for a hook up. I’m not really sure what I’m looking for.” Bard said stroking the back of his neck.

“That’s exactly why I just wanted to give you a warning. I have no clue what Thranduil’s intentions with you are. He and Bilbo are close friends and I know for a fact that Bilbo warned him against pursuing anything like that with you.”

“He did? Well, that _does_ sound like a very Bilbo thing to do.”

“It is a very Bilbo thing to do. He was looking after you in taking that action. He made it very clear that Thranduil treating you like a one night stand would affect their friendship. In all honesty, I don’t think Thranduil would risk his friendship with Bilbo. Thranduil is many things, but he’s not a liar. He doesn’t go back on his word and he told Bilbo he would not pursue you in such a manner.”

“That’s…uh…I’m not really sure what to say.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve confused you, but in case things move a little quickly between you two, I wanted you to be aware of Thranduil’s track record. I wouldn’t very much like to see you hurt if you really have a liking for him.”

“No, I understand completely. Thank you.”

“There is more I feel I could say, but I’m not sure it’s prevalent. I may not be the person to tell you.”

“What else? Really, whatever it is I’d like to know.”

“I’m not sure if Bilbo mentioned Thranduil’s wife passing a few years back.”

“Yes, he did. Five years ago, he said it was.”

“I know you’re sensitive to such a subject yourself. Just keep that in mind also. I don’t believe he is as strong as he wants to be yet.”

“I understand.”

 

Later that night, the Oakenshields and the Bowmans joined together for a grueling game of Monopoly which Sigrid and Bilbo ended up winning since they had teamed up together. Once they were the only two left, they called it a draw. Thorin seemed very put off that he had lost so horribly, seeing as he was a real business professional, but Bilbo and Tilda each comforted him with a kiss on the cheek. Once the fun had ended and night came again, Bard was left with his thoughts.

His mind was swirling around the enigma that was Thranduil. He barely knew anything about him and what he did know had struck a chord in him. He had been so entranced by Thranduil – was he falling for a trap? There was no way of telling, but deep down Bard firmly believed that Thranduil wouldn’t treat him like his other lovers. He believed in this so adamantly because he desperately wanted it to be the truth. He didn’t want a let-down or heartbreak.

He hadn’t had the nerve to call Thranduil and he was mad at himself for it.

‘How stupid is this?’ he thought. ‘Even if his intentions are to get me in bed, I can just say no.’ Bard grimaced at the thought. Thranduil’s half naked form etched itself in his head – would he really say no to Thranduil’s advances? Was he willing to possibly get hurt for a night with the most beauteous man he’d ever seen?

He plopped a pillow over his face and let out a string of muffled, disgruntled noises.

Sitting for breakfast the next morning, Bard broke the news to the children that Thranduil had asked him out to a date and that he was planning on accepting the offer. It was quiet for a few moments and Bard was sweating bullets. Bain was the first to break the silence.

“I didn’t know you liked guys, da.” He spoke through his toast.

“Oh _come on_.” Sigrid laughed.

“Well, I don’t know!” Bain spat with a shrug. “And _you_ can tell?”

“Yes. Girls are better with those kinds of things.”

“Wait – you can tell?” Bard inquired.

“Most definitely.” Sigrid answered.

“Where are you guys going on your date, da?” Bain asked.

Bard blinked.

“Um…I don’t know yet.” Bard offered, taken aback by the light reactions coming from them.

“Yay, Thranduil is gonna be our new mom!” Tilda exclaimed and Bard nearly choked.

“Whoa, Tilda, slow down. It’s just one date.” Bain said.

“And Thranduil wouldn’t be a mom; only women can be moms. He would just be another dad.” Sigrid added and Tilda nodded with thin eyes.

“Hmm…that makes more sense.” Tilda said.

“Are you sure that you guys are okay with this?” Bard said with a softened, lowered voice and they all looked at him easily.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t we be? I mean…it’s been a while.” Bain said.

“Yeah, da. We want you to be happy.” Sigrid said with a sweet smile. Bard reached over and grabbed her hand.

“You’re all sure? I have your blessing?”

“Of course.” Sigrid said, squeezing his hand back. Bain and Tilda both reached in to hold hands with their father and each other. Bard could feel tears rising in his eyes and his children all sprung up, hurrying over and covering him with hugs. He smiled through the tears rolling down his face and pulled them all in close.

“Thank you, thank you all. You’re the best children a man could ever wish for.”

“No problem, da. But if this goes sour, I’m gonna have to sock him one.” Bain said.

 

Bard couldn’t refrain from staring at a phone in the Oakenshield home every time he was near one. He was still hoping that one of the places he had applied to would call and he was awaiting a return call from Thranduil who he had called earlier that morning.

In the midst of dressing, the phone in the Bowmans’ bedroom hall startled Bard as it rang. He hopped out of his room while pulling up his jeans. He fell into the wall and fumbled to pick up the phone.

“Oakenshield residence, Bard Bowman speaking.” Bard huffed and buttoned his pants.

“You sound like a stuffy business man.” Thranduil’s voice chimed lowly and Bard let out an especially loud sigh of relief as he grinned. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No, no, not at all; just multitasking at the moment. I, uh, called earlier to say that I’d be happy to let you take me out on a, uh…date.”

“Oh yeah?” Thranduil responded quickly and Bard’s smile grew wider.

“Yeah.”

“Cool, cool.” Thranduil spoke more languidly. Bard subdued a laugh at Thranduil’s sudden return to ‘coolness’ and there was a pause. “Something funny?” Thranduil mused.

“Nothing, I’m just happy to hear from you.” Bard said.

“Likewise. When are you free?”

“Well, I don’t have a job yet or any obligations, so I’m free pretty much all the time.”

“Does that include tonight?”

“Tonight?”

“If that’s cool with you.”

“Totally cool.”

“Far out. I’ll be picking you up at six thirty then and we’ll hop over to the roller disco.”

“Roller disco? Right. Six thirty. Roller disco. Perfect.”

“Perfect. See you then.”

“See you.”

 

_\--- Thranduil ---_

“What the fuck does someone even wear to a roller disco?” Thranduil grunted to himself, flipping feverishly through the shirts hanging in his closet. He didn’t care for disco music and he had never stepped foot in a disco club, let alone a roller disco. He’d never roller skated in his life, either.  He cupped his hands over his face hopelessly.

“This is going to be a disaster.”

How horrible he felt then, dreading looking like an idiot and fumbling around on skates in some ridiculously lit club with obnoxious music playing endlessly. He was skilled at swimming and yoga; he was naturally very poised and graceful, but he doubted that a man as tall as he was could easily skate on the first attempt. He kept saying to himself “Bilbo said Bard is _dying_ to go to one”. After the stunt Bard pulled at the pool, Thranduil knew he _had_ to ask him out and it had to be perfect.

He eventually put on a green and purple tie-dye t-shirt with a low v-neck and a pair of his tightest and cutest boxer briefs and bellbottoms which happened to lace up along the leg hem, offering exposure to some skin. He fiddled with his hair incessantly and in the end, he was satisfied with a neat half ponytail.

He was feeling very anxious which bothered him; he never felt anxious before a hook up or date. He was always very calm, cool and collected and absurdly charming. For some reason, he seemed to be off his game every single time he was with Bard – _every single time_. He managed to get a few suave lines in here and there, but it was only because Bard had set him up for it.

“What’s wrong with me?” he muttered, shaking his head.

Legolas sat up from his place on the couch as Thranduil entered the living room and he tucked his book inside of his bag.

“You ready to go?” Thranduil beckoned.

“Yeah. What time do you think you’ll be back tonight?” Legolas spoke and slung his bag onto his back, following his father to the front door.

“Mm…I’m not sure. I’ll be back before you go to bed.” They situated themselves in the car and Thranduil turned the radio on, keeping the volume low enough to hear Legolas. “Do you have everything you need or want to bring with you?”

“Yeah; I’m bringing some of my jewelry making stuff so I can teach Bain, Sigrid and Tilda. Then we can all have a bracelet or something.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you.” Thranduil said admirably and smiled at his son. “I’m glad you guys hit it off. They seem like some pretty chill cats.”

“Yeah, they’re nice…” Legolas trailed off and Thranduil arched a brow.

“You don’t sound too thrilled about that.” He noted and Legolas shook his head.

“No, they are. I like them.”

“You’re sure?”

“Mmhm.”

“…Is something wrong? You don’t have to hang at Bilbo’s pad if you don’t want.”

“No, I do, it’s just…”

“What is it? You can say it.” Thranduil encouraged, finally feeling the barrier between them open.

“Is this going to be like your other dates?” Thranduil paused before responding; that was an awfully unsettling question coming from Legolas. Thranduil never imagined Legolas even thought about his love life, or whatever it was, since he’d never been exposed to that world.

“How do you mean?”

“I mean that you go on a lot of dates and they never seem to go well. Nobody ever sticks around, you know?”

“Uh – well yeah, I know that…but that’s because I didn’t like any of them enough to keep them around, you know? Not everyone is always a good match for each other and sometimes it takes a while to find someone worth keeping.”

“What about mom?”

Thranduil felt a sudden tightening in his chest. It had been some time since his late wife had been a topic of conversation between them.

“She just came to me and I knew.” Thranduil said fondly, a bit of the tension in his chest relieving.

“No one will ever be just like her, but I hope you find someone who makes you happy.”

“Who makes _us_ happy…don’t you worry about things like that.” Thranduil pat Legolas on the knee and Legolas scoffed.

“I _do_ worry. You’re my dad. I can see that you like Bard and Bain, Sigrid and Tilda are great, so…I just hope it goes well.”

“So do I, but if not, I’ll be okay and you will be able to seem them. Trust me, Legolas.”

“I do.”

 

At Bilbo’s suggestion, Legolas was going spend the night at Oakenshield Manor until the date was over; it was better than him sitting home alone bored. When they arrived, Legolas gave his father a quick goodbye with a hug and an utterance that wished him good luck. He followed Bilbo away to his new friends. Thranduil could hear a swell of excited voices a few rooms away and he smiled.

The talk with Legolas gave Thranduil a surging boost of confidence which seemed to thin remarkably as soon as Bard entered the foyer.

He fluffed the end of his hair with his fingertips as he crossed the threshold and he wore a tight blue knit sweater and high waisted straight legged jeans, both of which did wonders for his figure, with brown suede loafers.

“Six thirty on the dot. You don’t mess around, do you?” Bard greeted with a sweet and playful grin.

“What kind of guy would I be to keep someone as good looking as you waiting?” Thranduil smirked and a coy glow rose in Bard’s cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Thranduil ushered Bard into their chariot and the noise in the van on the way to the roller disco in Hobbiton was limited to the low playing music and their choppy, awkward conversation. Thranduil was fighting to think of the right things to say and ended up weaving compliments in between the pauses of their conversations. After a while Bard stopped talking all together.

‘Great, Thranduil, you’re doing great. Off to a great start.’ He thought and tried to ignore the sweat his palms coated the steering wheel with.

When they arrived to the roller disco, Thranduil fought the urge to roll his eyes. The outside was, as he anticipated, brightly illuminated with unbearable flashing neon lights. Thranduil darted to the passenger side door to open it up, but Bard was already half way out. He made sure he got to the entrance door before Bard and let him in first.

The multi colored laser lights hovering over the occupied wooden rink was the majority of light in the whole place. There were at least a dozen couples swirling around to “Le Freak” by Chic beneath the sparkling disco balls. Where they stood now was a narrow walk way where there was the skate rental station and a snack bar.

“I’ve never seen anything like this!” Bard said over the music with wide eyes and an amused expression that relieved Thranduil a little.

“Yeah, it’s something alright. Let’s go pick up some skates.” Thranduil said and nodded over to the rental station. As they started into the colorfully dressed crowd, Bard reached back and grabbed Thranduil’s hand as not to lose him. Thranduil’s heart jumped and he hoped that he had rid his palms from all the sweat when he subtlety wiped his hands on his pants when they first walked in.

They both requested skates their size and they were promptly handed two pairs. Thranduil quickly slipped forward the money to foot the bill. He swiped up Bard’s skates along with his own and handed them over to him. Bard blinked and then laughed just loud enough for Thranduil to hear.

“Did I miss something?” Thranduil offered cheekily and Bard shook his head with a smile that made Thranduil believe there was something more to Bard’s next statement.

“No. Just thank you, that’s all.”

Once the skates were on, Thranduil was honestly afraid of what would happen when he stood from the bench. He waited for Bard to finish and he took the first daring stand, hanging onto the railing around the rink in front of him.

“You alright there?” Thranduil asked and smoothly lunged from the bench and set his grip onto the rail beside Bard. He rested his hand on Bard’s back in case he faltered in balance, but Bard nodded enthusiastically as he released his grip on the railing.

“Yeah, it’s not bad so far. We’ll just see what happens when I actually try to move.” Bard chuckled and Thranduil’s hold on the railing and on Bard both became tighter.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” Thranduil said. Even if he had to trip and fall everywhere to keep Bard up, he would do it. He decided that Thranduil embarrassing himself was better than Bard being embarrassed.

 

 

_\--- Bard ---_

So far, Bard wasn’t sure what to make of the date at all. Since he first saw Thranduil that evening, he’d been showering him with compliments and courtesies. While Bard was flattered, he would have preferred more _real_ conversation.

They talked about the music on the radio, the van, and Bilbo, but every time Bard brought something up it would always turn into Thranduil complimenting him. Bard admitted that it was a little frustrating; for one thing, he wasn’t used to being complimented so frequently, especially in one sitting and for two, he got the feeling that Thranduil was trying _really_ hard. Bard wanted things to be as natural as possible between them, but Thranduil just wouldn’t seem to let that happen with always doing every little thing and overwhelming him with praises.

It all felt very strained. Thranduil had been the one to ask Bard out in the first place, so Bard didn’t doubt that Thranduil wanted to make this work – that much was blatantly obvious, but he was trying _too_ hard to let things be “normal”.

Bard wanted to _talk_. He wanted to know about the real Thranduil and about his likes and dislikes, his favorite things, his life – everything. Bard was patient. It was their first date and it had barely even started yet. There was plenty of time for things to become more relaxed.

Bard scuffed to the rink entry while keeping close to the rail, but so far he was fairing very well. He was wobbly for sure, but he felt in control. Thranduil’s hand on his hip was reassuring also, as far as balance was concerned. Other than that, the gesture gave Bard a pleasant blush.

Bard took in a deep breath and then rolled out into the rink. He gave himself the first push forward, feeling Thranduil’s hand disappear, and he felt an instant rush as he propelled across the floor. He extended his arms out, feeling like he was soaring. He rolled all the way to the opposite side of the rink, and when he turned, he saw Thranduil was still at the entrance holding onto the railing.

“What are you doing?” Bard called. Thranduil tilted his head and gestured to his ear, indicating he couldn’t hear him. Bard pushed away from the rail and glided toward the middle, but when the wheels of the skates came to a halt, his ankle folded and he thudded onto the floor, a burst of laughter flying out of him. As he sat up, Thranduil came toppling over him and fell onto his side. _Bard laughed even harder_.

“What on earth are you doing?!” he exclaimed through his hysteria and Thranduil, who was very doe-eyed, blinked.

“I was going to help you.” He said pathetically with an uncomfortable, shy smile that was new to Bard. It was undeniably cute. “Are you hurt? Are you in shock or something?”

“What? No, I’m just having fun!” Bard laughed more calmly and tucked a loose lock of Thranduil’s golden hair behind his ear. “Are you alright? You took a worse spill than I did.” Bard said and moved to his knees. He stood carefully and once he felt stable, he reached out to Thranduil. “I thought you loved the roller disco?” he asked as they clasped hands and Thranduil struggled to rise.

“What? I’ve never been to a roller disco until now.” Thranduil said, and his eyes ballooned open as he slipped and pulled Bard back down with him. Bard ripped out another hardy laugh.

“Are you kidding? Bilbo said you loved the roller disco!” Bard said and Thranduil raised his eyebrows.

“He told me that you’d been dying to go to one, so I wanted to be the one to take you.” he said innocently.

“I didn’t even know what a roller disco was until he told me you came to them.”

“…I think we’ve been set up.”

“Me too.”

Thranduil started to laugh and rubbed his hand over his face. Bard’s heart fluttered at the sound and at how relaxed Thranduil seemed in that moment with their legs tangled together in the midst of a roller disco rink.

“Oh man. I’m so sorry about this.” He said and Bard smiled.

“I’m not. I think we both needed to look like idiots in order for us to be more comfortable with each other.” Thranduil looked truly mystified by Bard’s words. “Now, if I’m going to help you up, you have to promise to stop with the trying to make everything perfect business. It’s just making things feel forced. Just relax, like you are now.”

“I’m not trying to make everything _perfect –_ I just wanted to make it a good time.”

“I’ll leave you here if you keep lying.” Bard said, pulling his legs out from under Thranduil and starting to stand.

“Okay, okay,” Thranduil said quickly and beamed a smile up at him. “But you have to promise something too.”

“That’s not exactly fair. I’m already helping you up.” Bard teased.

“Will you consider what I want you to do?”

“What is it?”

“I want you to try to relax too and try not to be so nervous.”

“I guess that’s a fair request.”

Thranduil reached his arms up and Bard grabbed onto him with a strong grip. As soon as Thranduil was up, Bard had him grab onto his hips and he pulled Thranduil over to the railing where they could take a breather.

“A smile suits you.” Bard said and Thranduil smirked at Bard.

“I’m not allowed to compliment you, but you can give me compliments? Your judgment of what’s fair isn’t very good.”

“I mean it though. You look so much more at ease and I like that. It makes it look like you’re having some fun.”

“Aside from falling, I’d say yes, I am having fun. It’s only because you-”

“Nooo!” Bard said clapping his hands over his ears. “No, no, no. Not for the rest of the night.”

“Alright, alright… _but_ you _do_ -”

“Nope.”

“Okay, I’ll stop. For real this time.”

“Thank you.” Bard smiled at him and nodded back toward the rink. “Should we give it another go? We’re already here and we’ve already made fools of ourselves.”

“You’ve got a point. Come on, take me out.” Thranduil said putting out one arm and Bard laughed.

“You mean I have to cart you around the whole time?”

“Not the _whole_ time.”

“Come on, you.” Bard took Thranduil’s hand and swiftly pulled him away from the railing, making Thranduil’s face go pale with distress. He spun around, spinning Thranduil around with him who had a death grip on Bard’s hand. Luckily neither of them fell that time.

For a while they skirted around the edge of the rink with Thranduil scooting himself along with the help of the railing and Bard skating carefully just a few paces ahead. He never strayed too far; he would sometimes roll beside Thranduil and Thranduil would grab onto his arm or his hand for added support. Bard didn’t mind it at all.

A few times, Bard took Thranduil a few feet away from the rail and would spin him or just skate next to him, but Thranduil didn’t like to stay far away from the rail for too long. Each time Bard took him away, he stayed away longer until he was starting to feel a little more comfortable. Bard even got Thranduil to try out a few hideous, mocking disco moves and he had Thranduil laughing so hard that he nearly lost his balance. Bard lunged forward to catch him and they both ended up on their butts. Again.

 

_\--- Thranduil ---_

Thranduil was the definition of exhausted, flustered beyond belief, and completely head over heels for Bard.

He was so wrapped up in deciphering his feelings, and that alone made him feel light and happy. He’d been so worried about why he seemed to lose his flirting “mojo” when Bard was around and about making the date perfect to woo Bard, so he decided that, in a way, their clumsiness in the rink had saved their night.

He was surprised and glad that Bard called him out for acting the way he was, because since then the date had been far less tense and stressful. The music had even become more tolerable just by the relief Bard provided.

Thranduil suggested they head to the snack bar for a break and Bard complied. They were both glad to be out of their skates and have a bite to eat. Bard started asking questions about how long Thranduil had lived in Mirkwood, what it was like, about Legolas and his school, about the hippie movement and the war, and about Thranduil: his favorite colors, foods, drinks, places, his pet peeves, where he would want to travel if he could, and on and on. Thranduil happily obliged and rattled on until he had finally answered every one of Bard’s questions. Then it was Thranduil’s turn to listen as he asked the questions and he admired the changes in Bard’s expression as he talked about certain things; what brightened Bard’s expression the most was talking about his children.

‘Crap. I’m in _so_ much trouble.’ Thranduil thought all the while.

By the time they were ready to leave the roller disco, it was eight o’clock. Thranduil didn’t want the date to end by any means, so he proposed an idea.

“If you’re not ready to go back yet, you can see a bit of Mirkwood for yourself if you’d like.” He said as Bard situated himself in the passenger seat and clicked his seatbelt over his chest.  Bard suddenly looked at him with bewilderment.

“You mean, like, going to your flat?” he asked.

“If you’d want. It’s not really good lighting out to show you my gardens, but I can play you some songs; maybe hear that singing voice of yours.”

“Oh, um…” There was a long pause before Thranduil decided to speak again, detecting some kind of conflict in Bard.

“We don’t have to.” He said incredibly gently and Bard shrugged.

“Would we be back in time to get Legolas back home before it’s too late?”

“We’ll be back with plenty of time.”

“Okay then.”

The ride into Mirkwood was fairly quiet, but in a good way. Thranduil sensed Bard was feeling quite serene by the way he let his head rest against the seat and the way he stared out the window lazily. Thranduil had to _remind himself_ to look at the road because he kept staring at Bard and taking in how calm he looked. He reached over and rested his hand on Bard’s knee.

“Are you tired?” Thranduil asked softly.

“Mm, I don’t think so. I’m just very relaxed; it’s nice and quiet out here.”

“You should see it in the daytime.”

“Are you asking me on a second date already?” Bard joked as he turned his head toward Thranduil with an idle smile and Thranduil smirked.

“In theory yes, but that would be very forward and not at all romantic.”

“If this night ends well I would, in theory, most likely say yes. Just so you know.”

“That’s very good to know.”

When they arrived, Thranduil led Bard up the pathway to his darkened, compact home.

“It’s no mansion, but this is my castle.” Thranduil said.

“No, it’s perfect. Believe me.”

Thranduil started flicking on lights and brought Bard to the living room so he could sit comfortably.

“Make yourself at home,” Thranduil called as he took off to his bedroom and retrieved his guitar. When he returned, Bard was completely lounged on the couch; he very much liked the look of that.

He sat on the coffee table in front of the couch and leisurely just started through his repertoire. Bard was a quiet audience that only made noise at the end of each song with a round of applause.

“I really liked that one.” Bard said a few songs in. “What is it called?”

“Across the Universe by The Beatles. They’re one of my favorites.”

“The melody is lovely and the lyrics are just…I don’t know how to describe it.”

“I find they’re very soothing. The song, in the entirety of its structure, is almost euphoric. If you just close your eyes and listen and take it all in - really _feel_ the music - you can just appreciate your place in the universe, you know?”

“Yeah…that’s very poetic.”

“Well, I _am_ a poet.”

“Are you? Goodness. The man of many talents.”

“Do you play guitar? You said you dabble in music.”

“I’ve never even touched one.”

“Would you like to learn a bit?”

“I can try, if you show me how.”

Thus, Thranduil’s guitar was placed in Bard’s lap. Bard was sitting upright now and Thranduil sat next to him on the couch. Thranduil placed Bard’s fingers in the correct order for the first chord. The way Thranduil played the song, there were seven more chords for the first verse and unless Thranduil was moving his fingers for him, Bard could only remember the finger placement for a few of the chords. The chorus only took four chords, one of which Bard already knew, so he was able to manage playing the chorus better with Thranduil’s guidance.

“Hey! See? You’re getting along pretty well; a regular virtuoso.” Thranduil said and Bard happily handed the guitar back over to its rightful owner.

“Nowhere near your skill. I would need lots of practice for that – and maybe some band aids or something. The plucking hurts your fingers after a while.” Bard said rubbing his fingertips together.

“Oh, I should’ve given you a pick so you didn’t have to use your fingers.” Thranduil took Bard’s hand into his own and examined his reddened fingertips. “Do you want some ice?”

“No, I should be-”

Bard suddenly stopped as Thranduil lightly kissed one finger tip, and then another and another until all of his bruised fingers had been bestowed with a kiss meant to heal.

“How’s that?” Thranduil asked with his eyes peering up into Bard’s.

“It’s still a bit painful…but it’s the thought that counts.” Bard answered and slowly pulled his hand away.

‘That was the perfect segway into making a move…damn.’ Thranduil thought, but he cast the thought away as Bard stroked the back of his neck.

“I thought you promised to try to relax.” Thranduil said with a slight smirk. Bard blinked and his hazel eyes darted back and forth before settling back on Thranduil. His hand was still resting on the back of his neck.

“I don’t feel uncomfortable, if that’s what you mean.” He spoke.

“Whenever you get a little nervous you touch the back of your neck.”

“Oh.” Bard said quite loudly. He moved his hand to rub his neck again, but then he deliberately rested it on his lap. His face was beginning to get red. “Yes, I do do that at times. This is just…this has been my first date in a very long time and my first ever with a man. I admit I’ve been nervous about the whole ordeal, but I just couldn’t say no, you’re…I think you’re pretty wonderful.”

“ _Your first date ever with a man_?” Thranduil echoed. Bard’s arm twitched to move to his neck, but he slammed it back down.

“Yes, and I was hoping I wouldn’t screw up too bad or anything because I-”

“I have to stop you, I’m sorry.” Thranduil said with a smile curving on his lips. He grabbed Bard’s hands and gave them a light squeeze. “You have been just fine – more than fine, really, and I am so glad that I could be your first man-date. I’ve had a great time with you tonight and I’m sorry if I made you nervous. I hope you at least had a good time.”

“I did have a good time watching you fall all over the rink.” Bard laughed lightly and Thranduil’s jaw dropped.

“Oh, WOW!” he exclaimed and Bard laughed even harder.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You were just so…”

“So what? You can tell me.”

“Adorable.”

“ _Adorable_? I’m not sure I’d pick that as a word to describe myself.”

“Just in that instance, I mean.”

“How else would you describe me?” Thranduil fished with a smirk and Bard shook his head.

“I’m not falling for that one. This may be my first date with a man, but I’m not totally naïve.”

“You caught me. I’m curious to know what you think of me.”

“Maybe someday I’ll tell you, if you’re lucky.”

“Well, I’ve been very lucky so far. Here I am, sitting with one of the most attractive men I’ve ever met who somehow said yes to me asking him on a date.”

“You _promised_ no more compliments!”

“Oh, come on. It’s almost the end of the night.”

“You’re right. We should be getting back.” Thranduil gave a noticeable sigh and Bard arched an eyebrow. “What?”

“I guess I’m just selfish. I’ll miss you when we part.” Thranduil said rubbing his thumb over Bard’s hand.

“There’s always other days.”

“Don’t forget you said that.”

 

Thranduil and Bard were now back where it all began – Oakenshield Manor. Thranduil tried to hurry to the other side before Bard opened the door, but he again was too slow. Bard could easily see what he was doing by the look he gave Thranduil. Before Bard could stalk up to the doorway, Thranduil lightly grabbed his arm.

“Wait just one minute, Bard.” He said and Bard turned to him. “Let’s just enjoy this last minute we have alone for tonight…do you remember earlier when we were talking about what would happen if I theoretically asked you on a second date?”

“Yes, I do.” Bard replied.

“Well, now I’m asking for real; would you be interested in a second date with me?”

Bard paused, letting his eyes roll around as if he were seriously thinking over the offer.

“I’m not sure. Would we be going to the roller disco again?” Bard said with a smirk and Thranduil gave a light chuckle.

“Not unless you _insisted_ on it…did that change your mind?”

“Mmm…” Bard muttered, letting his eyes scan around again, but this time he was smiling very playfully and even bit down on his lip – _bit down on his lip_ _for god’s sake_. Thranduil swung his arm around Bard, placing his hand at the small of Bard’s back and pulling him closer.

“If you’re still deliberating, maybe I can do something to help you make up your mind.” His voice had dropped down to a very sultry tone and he moved in for the kill, leaning down to reach Bard’s waiting, desirable lips.

“DA!”

Thranduil and Bard immediately separated like there’d been a shock between them and Thranduil flailed more than he would have liked to. As cute as Tilda was, Thranduil was internally screaming that he couldn’t have snagged that kiss. She ran down the front steps, clung to Bard’s leg and he pat her head very fondly.

“Goodness, darling – you gave us a bit of a scare.” He breathed.

“Sorry, da. I saw the car lights and I was excited to know how your night was!”

“I’ll tell you all about it when we get inside, hm?”

“Tilda!” Bilbo called from inside and shuffled quickly to the door in his slippers, heaving heavy breaths. “There you are! I told you to _wait_ for your father to come inside. Come on now, you’ll miss the end of the movie. Hurry, hurry!” Tilda zoomed off into the house and with an awkward laugh and a very giddy smile, Bilbo disappeared behind the door. There was a moment of silence, and then a soft breaking of laughter from the both of them.

“Man, what a waste of a line.” Thranduil joked and Bard shrugged.

“That was a good one, I admit.”

“Good enough to work a second time?”

“Oh, but I’ve made up my mind about the date.”

“What’s the verdict?”

“It’s a yes from me.”

“I can’t wait.”

‘Now this is it.’ Thranduil thought as his hand ghosted over Bard’s bearded jaw and he leaned down to finally get a sweet taste of this amazing, delectable-

“AH!” Bard shrieked and Thranduil gasped as they were suddenly sprayed with cold water, springing up from every direction.

“I FORGOT ABOUT THE…sprinklers…” Bilbo called as he remerged in the doorway with a very guilty looking expression. Thranduil and Bard both ran up the steps to take shelter under the porch-way and Bard wiped his eyes.

“I don’t think we were meant to have this kiss tonight.” Bard said and Thranduil nodded in agreement.

“Unfortunately, it seems that way.” Thranduil admitted, defeated by some cruel gods of fate.

 

Heading back to Mirkwood for a second time that night, Thranduil supplied Legolas with the details he wanted to know and he wasn’t too demanding. Legolas seemed overjoyed that the night had gone over so well for everyone and jabbered on about all that he, Bilbo and the Bowmans did – Thorin had even suggested they go out for ice cream when he returned home from work. Thranduil didn’t complain one bit; no matter how much he and Thorin argued, at least he was kind to Legolas.

He felt at peace hearing Legolas speak so enthusiastically and decided that even though there was no kiss, the night had not been wasted for anyone. As Thranduil thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last date he had that hadn’t ended in _at least_ some heavy petting. Nothing had happened with Bard and even though he really _really_ wanted everything under the sun and moon to happen, he wasn’t bothered that there wasn’t even a kiss. He was perfectly content with the evening they shared and was already thinking about the next time he would see him.

 

_\--- Bard ---_

Before the kids were settled into bed, Bard had to appease them and cease their begging by giving them some details on the night’s events. After that, however, Bilbo wanted the more explicit specifics. Thorin sat with them in the living room, listening indifferently as Bilbo rattled off an endless string of questions. As Bard entertained them with the answers Bilbo so desperately wanted, he couldn’t stop smiling.

Bilbo gave an especially guilty and sneaky chuckle when Bard brought up that they figured out he’d set them up to embarrass them both at the roller disco.

“I _knew_ Thranduil couldn’t have been a roller disco person. It just didn’t sound right.” Thorin said.

“I couldn’t help myself!” Bilbo said, wiping tears of self-amusement from his bleary eyes and exhaled. “But hey, at least it broke the ice for you!”

“That wasn’t all.” Bard went on. “After the disco, he showed me his place in Mirkwood.” Thorin and Bilbo’s faces immediately tightened. “No, no! _Nothing happened_. He just played me some songs on the guitar. It was nice.”

“He didn’t make any moves on you?” Bilbo asked quirking a nosy brow.

“He sort of did – it was actually kind of funny. He dropped a few lines and tried to be very cool, but he backed off if I didn’t play into it. There was some hand holding and things, but nothing more than that.” Bard’s smile failed a little as he soaked in Thorin and Bilbo’s perplexed expressions. “Is that a…a bad thing?”

“What? No!” Bilbo exclaimed. “Why would that be _bad_?”

“Well, I just thought…I mean, Thorin said that he’s incredibly… _active_ …and has had a lot of lovers.”

“YOU DID WHAT!” Bilbo shrieked at Thorin as he sprung up from the couch.

“Sweetheart, you have to understand my motivations.” Thorin spoke calmly.

“I know, but I didn’t want Bard being _afraid_ of the man for god’s sake or feel obligated to do anything!”

“I didn’t feel obligated.” Bard interjected, somewhat offended, and Bilbo fell back onto the couch.

“I’m sorry, Bard. You’re a grown man, I know. I shouldn’t be poking into your business.” Bilbo apologized softly and Bard’s smile revived.

“No, Bilbo, I understand. From now on though, don’t worry so much about me. I handled myself, didn’t I? I didn’t want things to move that fast, and they didn’t. Thranduil respected that.”

“So weird.” Thorin mumbled to himself and Bard frowned, stroking the back of his neck.

“That’s why I asked if it was a bad thing…do you think since he didn’t push that maybe he didn’t…? I don’t know.” Bard trailed off and Bilbo’s eyes widened.

“Oh, honey no! I think he just realized that you didn’t want thing to progress so quickly. I don’t think that means he doesn’t like you.”

‘That’s good, because I think I really like him.’ Bard thought. He didn’t dare say it out loud. He simply retired to his bedroom and lay in bed with the pestering, burning thought in his head.


End file.
